When I grow up I want to be a weather man or why I don’t watch TV.

I don’t watch a lot of TV. It’s not really that I don’t have time, it’s simply an activity that I don’t find enjoyable… well except once in a while I may catch an episode of the Big Bang Theory. The writers are brilliant and who doesn’t love Sheldon? I just think there’s a lot of crap on TV and it’s a waste of time when I could engage my interests elsewhere.

I don’t remember exactly when, but a few months ago a story went viral on the internet and then ended up being reported by Brian Williams about a pig that rescued a goat from drowning. The story captured everyone’s attention and because lots of people know I raise goats, they had to share the heart warming story with me.

Now, because I’m basically a nice person, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, I listened to the tale about the pig and the goat, smiling and saying things like “Ahhh and Ohhhh, how nice” but now I have to confess that the voice inside my head didn’t agree. That voice inside my head was saying ” Go ahead, give them the V-8 slap upside the head and yell, “What’s wrong with you people? It’s not real!!” No, it’s not real because goats are smart and they hate water and have no desire to hop in the pond for a swim even on the hottest day of the year!

A few nights ago, Brian Williams had to report that the pig saving goat event was a fabrication. WHAT? The story was cow pies all along? You’re kidding, imagine that! Just when I was pondering getting pigs for the farm and enlist them as lifeguards, ( I could really use a lifeguard once in a while) now I have to reconsider. Darn it Brian Williams!

Poor little piggy, how quickly one can lose their hero status.

I’ll bet Mr. Williams wanted to V-8 slap someone….. fact checker.
Then again, he could have phoned me. I could have told him it wasn’t so. Hamed up shenanigans that’s what it was.

Because I rarely watch TV I was completely unaware of the big winter storm a coming our way this past week. I get my weather report from the century old and reliable Farmers Almanac – I am a farmfrau after all and remarkably so, that little bathroom reader is incredibly accurate. Also, I don’t think the folks who publish the Farmers Almanac fall in with my theory about the weathermen on TV.

Mr.Benn, my darling husband watches TV and it was Tuesday evening when he alarmed me with the news of the impending storm. According to our local weather man we were getting 8 to 12 inches of the white stuff beginning at midnight.

“Are you sure,” I asked him as I looked up at the crystal blue sky above.

Yup, slammed, he texted ( he’s a man of few words.)

Ok, so I ran to the TV to watch the weather report and sure as sleet, the weather man is giving a moment by moment bulletin on the storm watch interrupted by commercials for toilet paper, Red Box movies, and frozen food snacks.

Hummmm, my theory you ask? I believe the salaries of local weather men are subsidized by grocery conglomerates. Call me crazy but the following day, as usual, I walked out to the barn to feed the new baby and milk her mother (explanation about this in future posting) and slush. We got slush. Wet, rainy snowy slush.

The girls are all huddled in the barn, happy to see me, but they are none the less, backed up to the barn wall because goats hate to get their feet wet and there’s slush on the ground.

And so folks, that’s how I knew the pig saving the baby goat was road apples.

3 thoughts on “When I grow up I want to be a weather man or why I don’t watch TV.”

    1. Favorite weather man story took place in the early 1960’s. “Tonight we will stay clear and mild. Russia has placed and armed ICBM missiles in Cuba. No need to worry about tomorrow’s weather”.

So, tell me what you think.

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